ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I complain all the time about being tired.... yet I never go to bed early!

I.E I'm EXHAUSTED right now. Yet I write about it instead of sleeping.

I wanted to go to bed 2 hours ago.

WTF???????????????????
WHY DO I RESIST THE SLEEP WHEN I LOVE IT SO MUCH?????

DO I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMMITMENT??????????

House Hunting

OMG!

So the other day I was talking about how I want to move in with Kathryn in Sept maybe... He's all

"Wtf why don't you move out with me?"

and I'm all

"Um I've been asking you for almost 3 years to move out and you were deadlined to move out A YEAR AGO IN SEPTEMBER!"

"Well I will move out now. Let's do it."

"K..."

So I have already booked us a viewing tomorrow at 6:30 to check out a PET FRIENDLY (yes - "3 small dogs would be perfect" to quote the realtor!!!) place not far from where either of us live now!

SWEET!

I dunno how it will go down... but it's a start.

Can we afford $1800/month?

I WILL MAKE SURE WE CAN!

I wonder if I can sneak my cats in too...... O_O this all sounds too good to be true. We'll probably get there to see a garbage dump :P laaaaaaaaame that would suck!
Or it could turn out totally perfect!

Then me and Tyler will live together... potentially start having sex again.... or not... could go both ways. Could work out... Could suck because I'm still iffy on commitment (after 4 years, I know... wtf?) and could blow up and kick him out... but I'm SURE I could find a room mate no problem.

I'm excited.

Wish me luck... all you nobody reading......

*wishes self luck*

Typical... I can only ever rely on myself :P

Ugh

Do you ever just die inside?

But literally. Today I had a good day, even got to have a nap at work! It was awesome! Totally got paid to sleep and check emails, etc... then closing time came (got done on time!!!!!! Highly rare occasion) and then all of the sudden

BOOM

death...

I was like comatose! I was supposed to go out with friends and I was really excited cuz it's so nice outside and I rarely do anything spontaneous... anyway I all of the sudden was overcome with tiredness and ... blahness. It's the only word I can think of to describe it. So needless to say I didn't go with them.. and I drove home trying to figure out wtf was causing this mood swing and I got nothin.

Maybe I really am bipolar.

Or just really tired.

Or both.

Now I'm home... sweating... thinking about how I REALLY should walk my poor dogs but ... agh..

BLAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 V

I should write an erotic novel... about how time travel can't exist

Because it would actually be good.
Explicits BUT with an actual realistic and interesting story line.
That's how life should be.

In other news............
I saw Terminator Salvation on Sunday and I just can't stop thinking about it for reasons I'm not sure. It could either be that it was shitty on many levels... or that it was full of some very fine ass.
I'm pretty sure it's both, actually.
Which is unfortunate because Christian Bale is actually a good actor and the movie just really sucked.
I'm too tired to get into it but long story short: time travel is not possible and even if it was you can't send your dad back to make you because in order to do that he would have had to have been born before you were made but actually he was born after so how the HELL do you exist?
It's BS and whoever thought of the story line for the first Terminator was stupid and clearly didn't think that through very well.
I have had this arguement many times and I think no one agrees with me or understands because I'm smarter than them and it hurts their brains to think. I agree. It does hurt to think but once you do... and realize they're wrong.. your whole life changes.

That's an exaggeration.

I am already bored of this blog. How do I know people can even read it? I don't think people are. I'm sad.
I used to have THE most aswesome blog with loyal followers and everything... I was even on google!!!!!! Number 1! Only if you searched "words that start with V" but STILL!!!!!!! Man was I proud........ and now I'm just a nobody. I became less cool.

This new blog is proof!

I'm too tired to write anything witty. ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Goodnight.

WTF

Hey internet world.

The goal for you reading this blog: count the typos!

I tried starting this like... literally 12 hours ago and now it's 124am, Saturday night. I just got back from a fucking $56 dollar tab + 1 free Captain Morgan/Barq's. I haven't drank this much in about a year or more. Probably more like 2. Man do I miss being tanked.

Anyway so I started typing this and was going to complain about my life and reach out to the world with a giant W.T.F .....

I'm 24 (almost) and like........ blah. (Please keep in mind that I've had 4 double rum/cokes and the wierd barq's mix but man am I ever doing an awesome job typing.) I dunno anyway so like I'm going to list my life issues and you're going to tell me how to fix them, K? Excellent... startin now.

1) I live w/my parents (I KNOW!!!!!!!)
2) My boyfriend of 4 years is fat and never used to be.................................... o_O
3) I feel like I should be in school but really would rather travel the world but have no one to travel w/so I'm like wtf do I go to school and spend $3409583 on an education I'll probably do nothing with or do I spend it on traveling the world, finding myself and becoming a better person because the world/life is not about working but about living your one, small, fragile life to the fullest.......
4) My parents treat me like I'm 12. (I.E: they think I'm still a virgin, they tell me when dinner's ready, they tell me to please put my laundry in the basket even tho I can do it myself.... they tell me when to feed my own children [3 dogs/2 cats] they ask me how much gas money I've spent, ETC - YOU GET THE PIC!!!!!!)
5) I have an attitude problem
6) I am irritable but only cuz ppl are stupid
7) I can't make up my own mind

I don't even know what I just typed, that's how tipsy I am. But if I were to quickly tell you why I hate my life w/o re-reading what I just wrote (it took me like fully 10 mins even tho I type like 100+ wpm........) ......... I would say that I'm lost. I want to do what's right but what's right by society and what's right by me are totally different things.

AS IN!!!!!!!


Society wants me to:
-stay with my boyfriend, work things out (i.e accept that he's fat, remember the good old days and live off of the memories, think that things could be worse, etc)
-stay at my $13/hr job forever and have breakdowns every 3rd Tuesday
-live at home forever and be ok with it
-be boring

HOWEVER!!!!!!!

I WANT TO:
-go to England for at least a year
-have several interesting jobs that I can feel fulfilled from instead of feeling like a useless job-hopper........WHILE TRAVELING!!!!
-move out and party more because I've seriously missed out by being in a boring relationship and becoming a bitch for 4 years.........
-BE FUN!!!!!! BE ADVENTUROUS!!!!! BE 80 AND LOOK BACK ON MY LIFE AND ***NOT*** GO "wow I wish I'd done this instead of this".........

Don't you feel you think so much clearer when you're drunk and/or high?
When I'm high I talk with the trees and the sky.... mostly the trees. They tell me that I'm just like them. Living and dying..... just being. I don't REALLY need to follow "rules" ....... It's just easier to do so..... (you probably think I'm a psycho but if you've ever been high you probably understand)

Being high is way more healthier/safer than being drunk. Have you ever met an angry high person? Also smoking pot doesn't cause liver failure. FYI.

Exactly my point.

Ok I'm gonna stop. This is my first blog and no one will read it...... but if they do...... I dunno. But I hope you enjoyed my drunken rant full of NON TYPOS (if you find any pls tell me cuz typos are literally one of my least favorite things in life...... esp when they are done by me) and comment and tell me W.T.F to do w/my life........

(I think I already know...... but findin the strength is hard! Tell me how!!!!)

<3 V